Goodbye Shy

Looking back at the beginning of this blog, I feel like I have come a long way. I have found myself standing up for myself and being more outgoing, like how I used to be. I'm not where I want to be, but that all comes with time. I can confidently say that I am happy with the person I am and can't wait to see the person I become. I am really grateful for this project and I can now say that it has helped me. When I sat at dinner alone and it looked as though I'd been stood up I wouldn't have said that. But now I certainly can. I want to establish this into my everyday life. Doing one thing a day that brings you outside your comfort zone.

On Christmas Eve I went to a party at my boyfriend's aunts house. This was the first time that I was going to see his family in a few months. We don't have the best relationship so whenever I go to see them I get very anxious. The old me would just avoid situations that made me feel uncomfortable. However, I had to face this issue head on. My dad gave me a pep talk where he told me that I can't let other people control my life. I need to be my own person and if they don't like me then it's their loss. He was trying to motivate me and it worked. I went to that party and acted like nothing bothered me. It made me feel good that I was in control of my life. I wanted to go to that party so I went. I actually ended up having a really fun night.

I attended my boyfriend's hall of fame induction. I didn't know anyone in the room except my boyfriend and his parents. Since I'm not from the same town as him I didn't know anyone there so I sat alone while they mingled.  All of a sudden a man sat next to me and we struck up a conversation. We were discussing school, sports, and who I was there for. We ended up talking about where he went to college and I found out that he was in the same fraternity as my dad at Saint Anselm.  I found it really interesting that this man that I just met had known my father for 40 years and I had no idea. It's funny how sometimes the world has a way of introducing you to people that have known your family for years. 

One of my biggest fears in life is public speaking. It was my turn to over come this fear starting in my theatre class. All semester I had to act in front of the class doing group skits; but that was nothing compared to what I faced in my final assignment. I was asked to prepare a two minute monologue for our mock audition that I had to excerpt from one of my favorite films. Standing in front of my class speaking with confidence, enthusiasm and emotion is something I never thought I would be able to accomplish. However, my need for a good grade in theatre class far outweighed my fear of public speaking. 

This holiday season is one of joy and splendor for my family and I. However, I did something that I normally wouldn't do and I think it was for the better.  I went to the mall and did some Christmas shopping by myself! This is completely out of the norm for me and really is something I haven't done before.  I hate being alone in crowded places, so a shopping mall isn't the most ideal place for me. It was such a liberating experience though. I finally achieved some feeling of independence and it was nice to have some time to myself while I shopped for my loved ones.  I felt very mature and it was nice to be able to help my mom and get her Christmas shopping done.